1. |
The Spectre of Loss
02:30
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the spectre of loss is haunting my mind
all the powers of old, how they dazzle and shine
an unholy alliance to exorcise
i bring out the games, the passage of time
i stare at the screen and addle my mind
fall into the darkness that i know so well
i will cross an ocean
no longer second guess
putting aside distractions
facing what i must address
we have such little time together
such precious little time we have together
already crying for a thing that hasn't happened
the fear of loss weighs heavy on my mind
so while we’re living, no i won’t neglect the feeling
the warming joy of having you around
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2. |
Southern Hemisphere
02:22
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i never figured out the seasons
i never felt renewed in spring
when everything bloomed it was my winter
i came apart at every seam
i never figured out the seasons
i let our love take control of me
it kills me to say but i gotta admit it
this isn’t the right place for me
i’m alive and i am here
what else do you want from me?
36 hours four times a year
what else do you want from me?
i never figured out the seasons
i poured my heart into the sea
all the people i love half a world away
how could i expect to feel free?
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3. |
Sweet Impermanence
02:34
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oh, sweet impermanence
thank you for reminding me
this feeling will pass away
and i can be free
oh sweet impermanence
thank you for reminding me
a moment doesn’t last so long
i can’t hold on so tightly
if i listen to my body
it will tell me just how i’m feeling
i see how it moves my thoughts
it doesn’t have to capsize me
i stretch
i breathe
i let it fall away
oh, sweet impermanence
thank you for reminding me
this too shall pass away
and i can be free
free from the darkness
the burden that shackles me
and keeps me in bed all day
away from friends and family
i call
and i focus
upon a little ball of light, in my mind
and it’s fine
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4. |
Your Shade
03:19
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i’ll be your shade
when the sun shines too bright
i’ll be a shelter
when the storms rage at night
the love that you give to me
feels better than a miracle
it’s breakfast in bed each day
sweet comfort eternal
when work gets you down
i’ll lend an ear
when the fog of your life won’t dissipate
i’ll make my voice clear
you must do what you need to
whatever it takes to get through
i know that weight that’s been dragging you
it’s been holding me down too
if you need a change
i’ll be by your side
we’ll talk through the options, the good and the bad
i’ll help you decide
there’s no shame in letting it in
we all need more serotonin
if that’s what you choose to do
i will support you
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5. |
Droughts & Hurricanes
03:59
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i've been awake for hours but still my vision is cloudy
i’m a tendril spinning in search of the glow
it’s such a pain to get the words out plainly
i’m telling you things you already know
maybe i am still looking for something
a driving force to get me round the bend
maybe i know that it comes from within
there’s nothing waiting at the end
when every day starts to feel the same
it’s time to make a change
they tell me 'you must work to be worth something'
is this a pace i can maintain?
will it always feel so strange?
it took me some time to figure out how i was feeling
you’d think the nightmares would’ve given it away
all my teeth fell out and landed on the ceiling
i kept on digging the same old grave
i’m giving up on all my stubborn defiance
how much can i learn from constant pain?
it’s not giving up it’s just embracing science
to find a better balance in my brain
it’s only thing that ever seems to change
yeah the weather gets worse each day
we break our backs just to watch it burn
droughts and hurricanes
we’re running out of labor to exchange
our demands remain unchanged
we cannot wait another day
it’s an unnatural world
but nature is not a god
we must build the home we need
for whoever it is we are
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6. |
These Pills
01:06
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these pills have changed me
rearranged my chemistry
i take one sip of coffee
i feel sick my head is spinning
oh how i loved the rush
felt such joy from the buzz
but now things are different
those days are over
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7. |
Grinding Away
03:01
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i’ve been feeling so impatient
needled by irritation
a sign of the times, signs in my life
that things need to be changing
obsessed with a false sense of success
i’m grinding away at things that make no difference
you know i’ve been thinking about leaving
yeah maybe this isn’t the place for me
i’m sorry i heard what you were saying
i’m just really having trouble changing things
what’s next? i can’t keep spending nights like this
i regress into a pattern of petulant adolescence
i’ve been peering in through windows
trying to see how the others keep their plants alive
but really if i’m honest i’m just longing
to know what something else might feel like
i confess lately my mind’s been such a mess
but if i get dressed i guess i’m not completely hopeless
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8. |
Where Is The Joy?
04:09
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where is the joy?
is it in the hunting?
or do i just want to feel good at something?
where is the joy?
is it in creation?
or is this now a cloying desperation?
where is the mind?
am i its master?
or is it driving me straight into disaster?
where is the focus?
is it on the present?
why am i always wondering where the time went?
every cycle keep repeating
i’m afraid i’ll never get away
if i say something enough it loses meaning
i just want to make it through today
where is the joy
that was her question
i was shattered by the mere suggestion
where is the joy
that’s what she asked me
i had no answer then but now i see it clearly
it is its own joy to hear a melody
it is its own joy to feel it move me
it is its own joy to sing in my head
it is its own joy to ask the question
and hear the answer in a song
i don’t think there’s more to it than that
but i am willing to wait around and find out
no i don’t think there’s more to it than that
but i am willing to stick it out to find out
where is the joy
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